Blue Raspberry Sundays: The Biggest Mistake

Not only is this a hard prompt, it is being addressed late. Oh, my.
Without a doubt, my biggest mistake in life was in a sequence.
I never took to time to learn to organize my household.  I let circumstances rule me, not the other way around. Don't get me wrong, I love organization. When I was a work, everything was in its place and there was a place for everything.  Of course, I kept things simple.

At home, oh my, a totally different story.  I did have things kind of organized, if you call a place for cloth in boxes, and crates for piles of papers (yes, if you are a genealogy friend, I am a pile organizer).
There were book shelves, and when the books were on the shelves they were organized to subjects. The big problem was I spent more time going out and helping people, spending time doing things with my children, and helping my husband, as well as working, than I did on keeping a clean organized house.  This was a big mistake. My husband would have been much happier had I been organized.

It translated into I did not teach my 6 children how to keep their homes and lives organized. For this I feel very bad.  Although, I will say, most have been much better than I am to the point of perfectionism.  Maybe it was because I drove them crazy and they didn't want that kind of life themselves.  I don't know.  The oldest daughter was a light for me when she taught provident living classes, and among that was how to organize yourself.  My other daughters remind me to keep calenders, and my sons, just look at me and shake their heads.
Thank goodness I know God loves me and accepts me, BUT I also know he wants me to stretch and grow and become better.  I had a wonderful friend who once (also a professed pile organizer) said that she was afraid to achieve an organized life because she figured she would be translated then and she had a lot to do for her kids.  I guess we all have our excuses.  This is in truth my biggest mistake. Some day, I hope to over come. J


Aine said…
We do what we can with what we know - Grandma wasn't exactly a tidy person either. And yes, you're never too young or too old to change. What I have found that REALLY helps is I declutter and send stuff out of the house ALL the time. Less really is more. A bit hard with seven of the kids still home - everyone has their own stuff, and all the books that Russ won't give up sit in boxes in the basement. But at least I feel peace when I walk through my home. Would love to get rid of that stuff though - and if it ever tries to make it's way upstairs that's it - it's gone! No hoarding here. Some people are happier with clutter, use it as therapy - makes them feel loved.

I've discovered I'm really a "clean lines" kind of girl. Russ and I have been really surprised at the modern stuff that has been surfacing in my taste, which is unfortunate because Russ is still stuck on his rustic wood. Modern meets rustic... contemporary anyone? :D

As far as Dad goes - don't take responsibility for his happiness. It was his choice to be unhappy. Yeah, it was an issue between the two of you - but there wasn't anything stopping him from picking up a broom. Maybe he did every so often, but my memory remembers him just complaining about it and going out to work.

And something else too - I know you want to blame it on electro-whatever, but I think it was more depression that you went through. Depression is debilitating. Maybe you don't feel like you had a right to be depressed back then, or maybe it's not a cool thing to admit for you... I don't know. But you were doing things you didn't want to be doing, we were in constant financial crisis for whatever the reason, there was animosity between Dad and Grandpa, Grandma was overbearing, Grandpa controlling... and it's not like there were the solutions for depression back then. So I've forgiven that one let it go - it's the organization and prioritizing of time that's kicking my butt.

I will say I still haven't forgiven Grandma for threatening the family over the house all the time. Don't know if I'll overcome that one in this life - she really scarred me with that one.